Bonus: Are weddings still important?!? by Jacob Bothell

This is actually a topic that I have discussed and argued with my parents before. They hold somewhat traditional values about the subject in that they believe that marriage is the bonding factor between a couple, and living together i.e. sex (don’t kid yourself please) is to be saved for after marriage. I believe that is true, but (everyone has one) I do not subscribe to the idea that a physical ceremony nor the legal papers between two people are what keep those two people together...

Let me explain something about my view point. It comes from being brought up in a church, and I love my Jesus, but questioning and reasoning everything out on my own to form personal opinions. My ability to give my opinions/beliefs appropriate rigor has only become stronger as I grow as a person and a believer. With that context in mind I say this once you bring yourself and a partner into a real relationship (see my note on what that phrase means to me at the end) and present it before God. Those two people are now one and cannot separate/break up/divorce for very many reasons, even biblically there are reasons why a woman/man is allowed to leave their spouse, and whether or not they have been to a ceremony and signed paper does not change that. I believe that the ceremony does change something in the relationship though because you are publically proclaiming that the both of you are in a committed relationship and they can and most will hold you accountable to the vows that you spoke. And that last point is the important part. This ceremony is not for you it is to tell everyone else what you are doing and allowing them to be a part of it in some way.

Now to speak of the ceremony. Does it need to cost lots of money? NO. Have everyone show up in some nice clothes that they already own, it is after all a momentous and special occasion, and have everyone show up to your back yard or house/apartment or maybe a friends barn for heaven’s sake. If you can afford it have a party after word to celebrate it, but by no means is there ANY reason you have to spend the money on a crazy dress and a venue for the ceremony/party. A thought did just occur to me and I suppose it is somewhat a romantic notion. If you were to use clothes that you wear already and will continue to wear wouldn’t that just remind you of the commitment and the fun of the entire thing every time you wore even the socks of that outfit?

A little bit on the romance thing. Do I believe that there is one and only one person that will complete me and make me feel special? Absolutely not. There are 7,598,435,970 people on this Earth, according to this counter, and there is surely at least a few people that would jive well with my personality. So if you were wondering if I am a romantic, even after that last sentence, I am not.

I think the concept of marriage is special and the ideas behind the commitment are important. The ceremony is to show others the commitment you are making because you and your spouse and God already know what you are.

*Real Relationship – this is where two people have decided they are going to share a life together. This includes physically, emotionally, and spiritually. They share geography, but not necessarily think someone going to another country to earn money to bring everyone else along. They share burdens and joys; this might include financial, sexual, social attributes. And they share a walk with God into eternity.