Bojack Horseman and relationships: a look at failed relationships and theraputic partners by Jacob Bothell

    I recently let myself become exposed to a Netflix Original Series "Bojack Horseman." The show consists of a Bob Saget like character, in profession as well as demeanor, that we learn about his life: his complicated relationship with his agent, the 'boy' Todd that lives with him, the biographer that he falls in love with, etc. These characters are brought to life because they have real struggles that people actually face and they deal with it, not always in a healthy manor mind you, while the next tragedy careens their way.

    Through out the show Bojack comes into many external struggles that reflect his internal self. A great example comes about when he accidentally tells his girlfriend that he loves her, yells "NO I DON'T," and runs out of the house. This comedic moment is then followed by his anxiety about how that effected Wanda, the girlfriend, and does not really want to talk about it with her. The next time he sees her she tells him that its ok if he doesn't love her because she doesn't love him. This is a major blow to Bojack's self esteem and worth. He decides that talking about this is to difficult but wants her to change her mind. Through some crazy chain of events he decides that if Wands loves him then she will not let him perform autoerotic asphyxiation because it is dangerous... in the end Wand does give Bojack what he wants, an admission of love, but the story as a whole rings true, minus perhaps the autoerotic asphyxiation unless that's your thing, many people.

The wanting for love stems from a fear of being alone, and this character exemplifies this mainly by making self destructive decisions that gain him temporary affection. His fear is so strong that he puts his own well being aside to gain but a glimpse of what he ultimately wants. This is not the only portion of relationships that he really struggles with. Again and again Bojack finds himself in situations of genuinely needing love and finding that he doesn't have the ability to ask for it or know where to turn to find it. It is interesting to see where he runs to in those times of need. His surface behavior, he hits the bottle or goes for 'meaning less' sex, might fool you into thinking he is a bad person or a pig etc. but this is a man that does not go to find what he needs but attempts to dig it out of himself which ironically drives away the people who were willing to give him what he needed but at the time could not see.

There are occasions though that Bojack makes a good decision and 'invests in someone,' though usually because it is convenient, and it is also interesting to observe who that tends to be. The end of the fourth season leaves us with Bojack learning that he has a half sister, whom he though was his daughter, and the both of them embracing that relationship. This is, as of now, one of the only positive/healthy relationships that Bojack does not seem to constantly be on the edge of ruining. This seems to be in conflict with several articles that I have read that therapeutic relationships are usually not helpful if the two parties are of opposing sexes, hah palindrome, this is not, according to the articles, usually because of possible romantic entanglement or social pressure, but because the people share a common image and view on why their problems are the way they are. Many of the articles so not endorse this because it leads to positive decisions and conclusions, but rather magnifies the problem so that the people then 'hit the bottom' faster and have the ability to figure out their problem together and explore more than one avenue at a time. I'm not sure how the gaining of a sister and subsequently a therapeutic partner will ultimately change the character and how the two will grow together but it has already changed the character making him a happier person.

Hershberg, Sandra G. "The Role of Gender, Intimate Connection, and Personal Experience in Facilitating Mutual Transformation: A Discussion of Annette Richard's “Journeying Back Home Together”." International Journal of Psychoanalytic Self Psychology, vol. 8, no. 4, Oct. 2013, pp. 471-481. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/15551024.2013.796604.

BHATI, KULDHIR S. "Effect of Client-Therapist Gender Match on the Therapeutic Relationship: An Exploratory Analysis." Psychological Reports, vol. 115, no. 2, Oct. 2014, pp. 565-583. EBSCOhost, doi:10.2466/21.02.PR0.115c23z1.

Gehart, Diane R. and Randall R. Lyle. "Client Experience of Gender in Therapeutic Relationships: An Interpretive Ethnography." Family Process, vol. 40, no. 4, Winter2001, p. 443. EBSCOhost, proxy.library.umkc.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=5886290&site=ehost-live&scope=site.